Well, it's been a while as you may or may not have noticed. I'm on the weight loss journey, but just in a rut. Don't feel like working out, don't feel motivated to do anything and or make a difference in my life. I can't explain what it might be... but I'll have to figure that out I'm sure. :(
Anyway, well some great things have come into my life..... I'm an LVN! Can you believe it!? I passed my NCLEX (state boards) and now I can change my life for the better or myself & my family and hopefully find a place I feel accepted and that I love. I want to LOVE my job... so we'll see how everything goes and I'll have to keep you updated on that part of my life.
But something is missing... seems the person I love the most, is my best friend and partner in everything we do would be excited for me. I came home excited, felt like it was a new start to our lives and yet, nothing. Just, "that's great poot." I mean all the sacrifice WE did, only to feel like I did it for nothing, that it was nothing, it wasn't an achivement nor was it anything that could make us have something to look forward to. It's frustrating...
All he cares about these days is his half brother that's in jail, his half brothers daughter, brother, online games, making sure that he gets to write, talk to his half brother... I feel like I'm just "here." Tonight I got a package in the mail from the Texas Board of Nursing w/ my certificate for my licensure... he says, "Texas Board of Nursing, whoo." I wasn't certain weather he was excited and or just being a smart-a**! It really hurts my feelings that he'll spend all hours of the night on the computer looking stuff up for his half brother and then spend 1 min looking at me like, "Wow, LVN, big deal." Well it is to me, I worked my a** off for that, was pregnant during the experience and trying to maintain my schooling w/ 2 kids, 1 on the way, working full time and NO time to study. I did all this with GODS GRACE! I know it was God, I know it was him standing beside me helping me through all the tough times... but the one person I really thought would be just ELATED, isn't.
But then again... seems that I'm the only one really really enthused... I talk about it and ppl just smile and nod like, "Uh huh, next topic." I really wish I had a friend that wanted to just listen to me rant... *sigh*
Guess it's time to sign out... I'm tired, annoyed, iritated and depressed...
Life will get better, right!?
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Well I'm proud of you! That is coming from someone who is jealous of what you have achieved and knows what it took for you to get into school. I have wanted to go to school for a year now, but it has not been in God's plan for me yet. I'm hoping it will be this summer though. Congratulations Lizzy, you did a great job!
ReplyDeleteCayse, thank you so much dear. I'll be praying for you that you're able to accomplish any and all goals that you have in your life and want to complete. :) I know you can do it and w/ God's help, he'll see you through. :) Just keep going, ask for his help and keep your chin up. XOXO ~ Lizzy
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